My Mom and I, September 2006

These are my thoughts on my last few days with my Mom.
Friday, December 29: I received a call from one of my sisters letting me know that Mom was having difficulty swallowing and that they had put her on oxygen. She also had a low grade fever. There was a rattling sound which we found out later was due to the terminal congestion (and not pneumonia). Jaron and I drove the next morning to Michigan and my other siblings were already there, with the exception of my brother who lives in Seattle. Jaron drove home a few days later and I stayed.

My Mom was diagnosed with cancer in her liver in August. It was inoperable and she was given about six months. It was the Melanoma cancer back, she had it first in her eye four years ago and then the brain tumor in October 2005.

We have all had different journeys through this the last few years. Our family all gathered together with my Mom in September (29 of us!) and we had a great time making new memories with everyone. This was our last time we would all be together. It was a very blessed time! Something I will always cherish. Even though it was bittersweet as we knew it was the last time I'm thankful for that time as many families don't get this kind of opportunity when someone dies suddenly.

My Mom and Dad had many visitors all through the fall. We all took turns going to see Mom in the Nursing Home, we played games with her, watched home videos, made her special meals, had hot chocolate together, AND WE SANG!! We didn't realize that we knew SO many hymns and choruses. In the first few months, Mom would sing with us, then towards the end we were singing to her. The Lord's presence was very powerful in her room and during the last few days those of us with her will always remember the joy that was present in the midst of the suffering and pain. There were tears and sadness, but the joy was much more in abundance. The last two or three nights three of us girls slept in my Mom's room, one in a lazy boy at the foot of her bed and the other two on the couch. We didn't get much sleep, we were talking about our childhood, laughing and crying together and just glad we could be with Mom.

Tuesday, January 2: Mom was very responsive and alert. Since I arrived on Saturday I had not heard her speak a word. That evening my brother Roy called from Seattle and I asked him if he would like to talk with Mom, he said he had not been able to speak with her for three weeks (she had been asleep or unable to whenever he had called). Roy was able to talk with her for about 20 minutes and as I held the phone for her I heard her speak Roy's name! I was so excited I took the phone and asked Roy if he heard it. After Roy called I felt prompted to ask my Mom if she would like me to call Carol and Mary (my sisters who had to return home a few days before) and her sister, Esther. She squeezed her eyes hard and I knew she did, this was how she was communicating to us those last few days. As I was holding the phone for her to hear as each one was talking to her it hit me that she would be leaving us soon. I called my sister Patsy and my Dad back and told them what had just transpired, and they came right over. We all had a wonderful evening with my Mom, singing until midnight. We all were feeling blessed to have this special time with Mom, it was a special gift that God gave to us. It was our last time with Mom awake and responsive to us.

Wednesday, January 3: Early in the day my Mom's fever had risen to 104. We all took turns while we were singing, to replace the cool washclothes on her arms and forehead. The fever came down to 101.
By late afternoon, the nurse let us use an oxygen sensor on her finger and we watched her oxygen levels go down and her heart race to 150....we kept singing...and sometimes through tears, knowing that these were her final moments and that we were making memories that we would cherish forever! After supper, her respirations were down to 20 and we knew her time to leave this earth had begun. She was beginning her journey to heaven!
Dad was ready to go home after a long day, then the nurse came in and let us know that she didn't think Mom would be here with us tomorrow, so we all gathered around her bed. We sang a few songs and then sang, We Will Dance. It is a song of celebration and of how we will someday dance on the streets that are golden!
I then asked everyone if it was okay if I read about heaven. I read Revelation 21, what a beautiful description of what heaven is! We were talking and discussing about the different precious stones and wondering what it all looks like.
We started to realize that at that moment Jesus was calling Mom home to her! Wow, what a precious time and an awesome experience we all had! It was as if the portal of heaven was opened to us in that room around her bed. We all took our turns giving her our last kisses and hugs. We were laughing with tears in our eyes and so full of joy that Mom was getting her reward. As my Dad gave my Mom her last kiss, she moved her head and reached up for just one more, we all saw it, it was the only response we saw from her that day. It would be the last breath she took in. My sister and I were then on either side of her and gave her our last kiss and as we did she breathed out that last breath. We looked over my Mom at each other and at the same time we responded in the same way, we shouted together, "Mom's in heaven"! We all broke out with cheers and shouting and were so overwhelmed with God's love to each of us. For that moment, when the portal of heaven was open we got a small taste of heaven, what I had just read moments before - there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. In the midst of death we were experiencing life!
As I was reading my cell phone rang and my sister answered it, it was my family calling from home. My sister put my cell phone on my Mom's bed and they got to hear what we were all experiencing around my Mom in her last few minutes with us.
I was reading Rev. 22:2 when my sister told me to come and give Mom a last kiss - and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. This is a special verse for me and what a gift it was for me that night!

We are left here on this earth and we have pain and suffering and sorrow. Emmanuel - God with us, He holds us and comforts us, what a promise! God's Word says that we don't need to grieve like those that have no hope. I have confidence and hope that I will see my Mom again when it is my turn to take my journey from this world and to meet my King, Jesus Christ.

My Mom had six of us gathered around her bed as she left this earth and went to heaven. We were singing and cheering her out of this world as Jesus and all those in heaven with Him were welcoming her to her new home. It is a time I will remember forever!